do you ever wonder?

do you ever wonder what you life would be like if something had turned out differently... i do...

everyonce in a while i get into this really blah phase... and sad mood.. i cant help it.. i just get through it ya know?

I graduated form Hughes springs high school.. with little regrets.. maybe done a couple things here or there... but nothing major... but i didnt graduate who i always pictured me being.. who i always wanted to be... i had great friends but sometimes i just wonder...

when i was little my family moved around alot... and one of those times i moved.. i moved to pittsburg... now there were a lot of complications living there.. due to my step dad and and his ex living in the same city.. but it was working.. or so i thought..

but i attending pitsburg school longer than i had any school then.. from fourth till the end of fifth grade...
and i loved it.. i was popular... and had loads of friends... i just fit in there.. i know that is was so long ago and we were so young.. but still...i played sports and was good at them.. i was in the 6th grade band... with all my friends... it just seemed like everyone got along... and when my parents made me move... i just never got that experience again... i didnt do athletics at hughes springs.. i was just young and scared at the new school.. wanting to get settled in... but i had become so accustomed to pittsburg school that i didnt know how to make any new friends.. and it was honestly until the beginning of the second semester that i met lindsey weems and things started getting better.. but still i was just always just awkward... never had more than three friends at a time... in pittsburg i could be smart and nerd out with all my friends.. but in hughes springs.. there just wasnt any people like that.. that got me.. its sad.. but looking back on it.. its true..

and now that i have gradated.. i have one good close friend.. erika white... and i love her to death... but sometimes... i wonder what it would have been like if i had stayed in pittsburg school...

i looked at some of my old pittsburg friends profiles online.. and see that my same group of friends that i hung out with.. are still together... and they look so happy and exciting... and i just know that if i would have stayed there.. i would be in those pictures with them.. all happy... not socially awkward...

but alas.. you cant change the past... but

do you ever wonder?