I am scared

So, I am scared. For the future. All of my friends I feel like are going to leave me. I always seem to cut myself down to one or two friends and then they do something and I end of losing them. I have already lost lindsey, then there was shay, leslie is in her own little world type thing, and priscilla but we NEVER see eachother sadly. .. And as of right now my best friend is erika white. Secondly,, strangely enough is clifford morrison. Cliff leaves for new zealand soon. And erika, well I think she wants to go to japan.. Which is totally awesome...

I always pictured myself as a leader, not a follower. But recently I realized I am a follower. I was going to follow taylor to commerce. *luckily didn't go* and now I am following erika and cliff to UNT. Never ever dreamed I would be going there. I mean I never even had heard of the college until erika told me she was applying..

All this came into realization about a week ago. I mean. I do have my own sort of independence about me. But my dreams. I feel like I don't have any. I mean.

To be famous, leave my mark. Discover something. Those are my dreams. But it seems I have no sense of how to get there. I have no goal plan set out. I want to go to pre-med of coarse. But heck even that is changing now. I do not know what I want in life.
Anything to be successful.